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Day 11
04.15.04 (2:05 pm)   [edit]
Today is good, and yesterday was good. No real cravings. A couple small ones, but I can handle that. I have noticed how gross my husband's breath is after he smokes. I had a glass of wine the other night, and I didn't smoke. That was a first. I keep thinking that I want to, but then I think of how bad it would taste at this point. You know, after 3 days your sense of taste and smell comes back. That's a beautiful thing. I can smell spring. Food tastes better, much better (maybe that's why so many people gain weight.) I haven't gained any, yet. I don't think I'm going to because I'm really not eating any more than usual, plus now that I'm not smoking, I've become more active.

I'm over the "dizzy" stage. The one where your body is adjusting to more oxygen. I'm not craving as bad after eating. I am a little bit but deep breaths get me through it.

One thing I noticed the other day is I have more color in my face. I was putting on my makeup and thought I looked tan. I like it. My car doesn't stink anymore. I'm going to wash it by hand this weekend. That's a summer hobby of mine. I love to spend an afternoon washing, waxing, vacuuming and shining my car. Now I can do it without having to take the smoke breaks.

I hope Roscoe follows my lead. I worry about him. He has smokers cough so bad, and he has polyps on his vocal chords which make his voice very raspy and rough. But, I'm not going to bug him about it or any thing. It has to be his choice or it will never work.

So, all in all, I feel good. I'm still wearing the patch. I don't know if I'm going to buy more when I run out or just go cold turkey. I have a few days to think about it.
 
Day 7 Happy Easter
04.11.04 (4:07 pm)   [edit]
I've almost made it a week. I still can't believe I made it through day 5. I keep thinking that I want to smoke and I'll just quit when I turn 30. But then I think about day 5 and going through that all over. I've been so out of it. I'm slow to respond to people and I walk around zoned out. I hope this goes away soon. Why is this so hard? It's stupid. I know that smoking is bad, I know I shouldn't do it, I know I don't want to do it. But then part of me misses it so much.

One thing I've noticed is that when you quit smoking, you become brutally honest. Not always a good thing. I have to learn not to speak my mind so much!!
 
Day 5
04.09.04 (6:41 pm)   [edit]
Today sucked. I've had this huge craving all freakin' day. I snapped at Roscoe because he got to smoke, then I cried and apologized for snapping at him. Damn, this is hard. I feel like crap. But, I am keeping in mind that smoking will not make me feel better.
 
Day 4
04.08.04 (3:32 pm)   [edit]
3 days, 18 hours, 22 minutes and 27 seconds smoke free.
75 cigarettes not smoked.
$12.39 and 13 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 4/5/2004


That's what my "Q-gadget" says.

Yesterday was good. No major cravings. Today went great, until now. I'm craving in a big way right now. This sucks. But, I know it will get better. I've been through this before. I guess it's best to just get it over with now and never do it again. It's strange, I don't really WANT to smoke. I know that at this point it would taste so gross. But I want to do something to get rid of this nasty feeling. I can't wait until I can make it through a day and not think about it. I know it doesn't take long. When I quit for 2 months, I was at the point that it didn't bother me, even if I hung out with smokers. I just wish it would hurry up. Fast forward please.
 
Day 2
04.06.04 (4:14 am)   [edit]
7:07 am

I've managed to make it through yesterday! I couldn't sleep at all last night, I think it was from the patch. Now I'm waking up with a throbbing headache. I don't want to work today, but then again, I never want to work. I've read all kind of stories on Quitnet about people with lung cancer and it scared the hell out of me. I hope that I'm quitting at a young enough age.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~

7:48 pm

Now, it's personal. I'm so pissed at the people I work with. I didn't want to tell them that I was quitting, because I knew they would laugh it off. I was right. During lunch, I always go out for a smoke (or 2 or 3) but I didn't today. When one girl was going out to smoke she said "What's the matter Heather, did ya quit this week?" Quietly as I could, I said "Yes." Everyone heard me. They all started laughing. One girl said "I give you 3 days." I said "Don't say that, that's discouraging." I was so pissed. I wanted to cry. No, I wanted to smoke, then cry. But I didn't do either. Now I have to prove to her that I can last more than 3 days. I can last forever! That really sucked!!
 
Day One, Again...
04.05.04 (10:07 am)   [edit]
This is day one of my new quit, again. So far I'm doing OK. I've had a few cravings, nothing horrible. If I remember correctly, day 3 and day 4 are the ones that were hard. I'm cleaning the apartment to keep myself busy, and playing online. It's nice that we never smoked inside. There are no ashtrays or cig packs anywhere for me to look at. But still, everythings a trigger!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~

6:00 pm

Wow, this is hard. Here I am trying to figure out what to make for dinner and all I can think about is how much I'm going to want to smoke after we eat. I'm dreading dinner. That's my hardest time. I'm thinking of making spagetti and salads. Boring and easy. Maybe I should get on my treadmill after dinner to help with the inevitable crave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~

9:35 pm

I knew it. We ordered pizza and as soon as I finished the crave hit! That was a couple hours ago, and it still hasn't gone away. This sucks. I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight. I was thinking about walking on the treadmill, but I just want to sleep through this craving.
 
New Quit Date
04.02.04 (10:26 am)   [edit]
Yep, I'm going to quit smoking, again. April 5th. I have a friend online who has struggled with quitting as much as I have and I told them to pick a date for me. So, April 5th it is!!
 
Self
02.20.04 (1:35 pm)   [edit]
Well I decided to join the Self Challenge 2004. It's a 3 month fitness plan. You can join here. I'm going to start Monday.

Week One's Challenge:
Three 30 minute cardio workouts a week.
Two 15 minute ab workouts a week.
Two 20 minute strength and stretch sessions a week.
Mind Your Meals-Keep a food record for four consecutive days.

I can do that.
 
Depressed
02.16.04 (4:59 pm)   [edit]
OK. Now I'm depressed. Roscoe took a picture of me earlier and it was horrible. I looked so fat in it. He left and went to his dads and I sat here and took picture after picture of myself and I could not come up with a single good picture. I never realized I looked that bad. My god, I'm so depressed! That's it, I HAVE to lose some weight. I have to do something. I've decided that I do not want anyone to take my picture anymore. Not until I lose weight. So, now the question is, how in the hell do you lose weight? I've cut a bunch of crap out of my diet already. Can I lose weight with just walking on the treadmill and doing yoga? I just want to cry.
 
All People Over 25 Should Be Dead
02.15.04 (8:00 am)   [edit]

All people over 25 should be dead...
To the survivors: According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those
of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's probably shouldn't have
survived.
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when
we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took
hitch hiking.)
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special
treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one
actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda
pop with sugar in it, but
we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were
back when the street lights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable!
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode
down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play stations, Nintendo 64,X-Boxes, no video games at all,
no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell
phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms.
We had friends! We went outside and found them.
We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although
we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the
worms live inside us forever.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang
the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't
had to learn to deal with disappointment.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law. Imagine that!
Our generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers
and inventors, ever.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to
deal with it all.
And you're one of them!
Congratulations.
Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as kids,
before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors?
 
Valentines Day
02.14.04 (12:42 pm)   [edit]
Hmmm. Well, my husband is not home, he's helping his dad do some stuff, his mother has called me twice wanting to know where he is and laying a guilt trip on me because he is not at her house. My son is "bored" and in a bad mood. I have probably the worse cramps I have had in a long time. I'm doing dishes and laundry. I've mopped the dining room floor, vaccuumed the kitchen and am about to clean the living room. What a romantic Valentines Day. We're supposed to go out tomorrow, but now we can't find a babysitter.

I'm sorry, I'm in a pissy mood, again. Oh, and I'm smoking and I haven't even looked at my treadmill. I guess the weight doesn't come off if you "mean to" get on the treadmill, you have to actually do it.
 
Start Over
02.12.04 (7:32 pm)   [edit]
I didn't last long. I'm smoking. I'm going to give this another try after my anniversary. It would be so hard to have dinner and drinks and not smoke. I know, it's such a cop out.
 
Day 3
02.11.04 (3:56 am)   [edit]
I'm on day 3 of not smoking. I almost smoked last night, but it was too cold to go outside. That's really helping since Roscoe and I decided to smoke outside so Andre wouldn't have to breath in all the smoke.

I've been having some very vivid dreams. Last night I dreamed I gave myself a mullet, Roscoe decided to take Andre, his friend Tyler, and me to WDW (which was in Ohio in my dream) but then I found out I was pregnant. :shock: I'm not, thank God. I'm quite happy with only one child. He's my life.

Anyway, I know I have 2 blogs going, but I didn't think everyone would want to hear about my quitting smoking, so I made this blog for that.
 
I like it
02.09.04 (6:00 pm)   [edit]
There's a few more things I want to figure out, but I think I'm going to stick with this blog. It's much easier than my other one, and has more options.

Oy! My 7 year anniversary is coming up this Sunday and I have no idea what we're going to do. We don't have very much money so we can't do much. Ha. Last year Roscoe (my husband) took me to Walt Disney World for a weekend. How do you top that? We'll probably just go out to eat or something simple.

I think I did well today with the smoking thing. I only had one so far and it's 8:56 pm. I need to do some crunches. I've gained 25 pounds in the past 2 years because I used to be on antidepressants. I quit taking them about 3 weeks ago and I'm ready to get rid of the extra weight. I'd like to lose it before summer. I guess I better get started now.
 
First One
02.09.04 (3:57 pm)   [edit]
I'm trying out a new blog. I have had one for a while at http://www.blogstudio.com/heather" title="http://www.blogstudio.com/heather" target="_blank"http://www.blogstudio.com/hea... but I decided to make another one as my kind of quit smoking journal.
 

I created this blog as my journal while I quit smoking. I've tried so many times to quit, I know I need to quit. I hope this will help.



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